Two AM Feelings
Poe once said that the most beautiful thing in the world was a young dead woman. Whether you agree or not is of no interest to me. All I know is that I think he said this because there was so much sickness and death and loneliness suffocating him and the ones he cared about. If a young woman was spared the conflict, the trials, the tribulations of this world and was allowed to quickly move on to heaven he would think that to be beautiful. And while I don’t encourage a young death for anyone! I can still understand and feel his pain.
Today was a very tough day physically and I finally made it to bed tonight and was in such unbearable agony. And my thought process went something like “ahhhh. Make it stop” to “wait. No. Pain is good.” “yes Kate. You know pain is good.” I then realized that my head and my heart and my soul know that this world IS a “vale of soul making” and trials, conflict, tribulation, and pain give my soul an identity, but “in the moment” the body’s voice on the matter gets really loud. Screaming “who cares?!?!” the flesh wants what the flesh wants, but it is a battle of three against one, both mind, soul, and heart as three and the trinity as three against one, the flesh and the devil.
Plenty of times the bible has lamentful accounts of Gods people crying out to Him. They were just venting, and we too are allowed the same. To cry out to our Lord. Let Him take our sorrow and do with it whatever He pleases. Then let go of our earthly fleshy emotions and find our way back to logic, back to reason, back to reality as seen from Gods eyes.
I guess all this was to lead up to a poem I found by Shel Silverstein and to empty my mind on tumbler.
I WON’T HATCH
Oh I am a chickie who lives in an egg, But I will not hatch, I will not hatch. The hens they all cackle, the roosters all beg, But I will not hatch, I will not hatch. For I hear all the talk of pollution and war As the people all shout and the airplanes roar, So I’m staying in here where it’s safe and warm, And I WILL NOT HATCH!
- Shel Silverstein
